6 Weeks Post-op

Sorry, it has been so long. I didn't mean to be gone this long. Life has just been busy. But I like it that way. Been awhile since life has felt busy and full. I've missed it, to be honest. But it's not so much that life is busy and full. It's me. A sweet friend mentioned it to me just yesterday . . . that it was good "to see me so content." I haven't been that in a while. Really have let life get in the way. But as I've been focusing on getting healthy, it has caused me, for the first time in my life really, to focus on me and what God is wanting to do in me. As those of you who love me know, I don't often do things for myself. I'd rather focus my energy on others. It's a sweet spot for me. I enjoy doing that. But there have been times when this has been an escape for me. If I'm focused on you, doing things for you, then I don't have to focus on me or my own stuff. That's a pretty huge realization for me. But in order to get healthy like I need to be, I have had to become comfortable in my own skin and be okay with focusing on myself without mentally going where I think I'm becoming self-absorbed or something. That for some reason has been/is a struggle for me. I'm making strides. God is breaking that stronghold. It's all in my mind. It's not that I can be the servant that God has made me to be. I just have to keep the motive in perspective. That's where the battle in my mind begins.

Well, today, marks another three weeks on this journey. I had a follow up with the dr again. Well one of his nurses. Found out that I don't necessarily meet with Dr. Morton every time unless I request him to be there. It was a good visit. She hit me with another 1.1 ccs of saline. And we talked through some questions I had. Also weighed to see how my progress was. I wasn't sure what their scale would say because the last visit wasn't as much as my home scale was saying. But this time their scale also showed I've lost more since my last visit than my home scale showed. I apparantly need to get a new one. I mean, it's only 14 years old :~) So according to the dr scale, I've officially lost . . .



I'm so stoked! In eight weeks (including pre-op diet time and post-op), I'm pretty pleased with that. There hasn't been one day when I've regretted this decision or questioned why God would choose this road. I can't even begin to express my gratitude. There's that little part in my head that is still "waiting for the shoe to drop" and something go horribly wrong. There's a line in the sand that I've never been able to get past. I'm still not there. But I keep taking that thought captive and covering it in the promise that God gave me back in February . . . that I will be like a spring of water, whose water will not fail. So I will not give in to those thoughts. He is ordering my steps and allowing freedom to reign.