Countdown: One More Day to Lift-off

Today has been a good day. Tried not to dwell on the fact that tomorrow my life changes. I find myself getting so overwhelmed. Not with the details but with emotions. Gonna be really transparent here. There’s this little voice in the back of my head (no, you don’t need to call the psychiatrist) that keeps asking why I’m doing this. Its just another attempt at doing this that’s going to fail. How in the world can I justify spending this much $$ on something that I’m just going to fail at. What if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong? What if I regret the decision to proceed? I kept coming back to these two words . . . BUT GOD. I’m so glad He’s sovereign and I can release these questions to Him.

Suz arrived in town today. I’m so glad that it worked out for her to be here. Josiah got sick on Sunday and I wondered if she would be able to come. I’ve only had one other surgery before and it was Suz and Cbell with me. So it seems right that they be the ones with me this time too.

Suz, Cheryl and I went to dinner . . . well we went to Panera and they had dinner. I drank my water since yesterday and today are clear-liquid only days. I’m learning to appreciate the smell of food.

I texted my Dad with the location of my Living Will and Power-of Attorney info just in case . . . and included the # of the kennel where Derby is. Had to laugh that I thought to send him info on Derby should I die or something. Gotta make sure my boy is taken care of!

Now I’m sitting at Casa de Bell. Got settled in and then in a sweet attempt to divert my increasing nervousness, Cbell suggested a movie. Got about halfway through and just gave up. I was really tired and couldn’t focus at all. It was a valiant attempt though, friend, and I do appreciate it. Have to be at the hospital at 630am for surgery at 830am. So I need to wake up at 400am.