As we go through this journey in our earthsuits, there are many journeys of faith we encounter. Some require great effort and we feel like Indiana Jones in "The Last Crusade" wh
ere he has to step out into what seems like vast nothing only to find a bridge to the other side. Others seem pretty easy to "live by faith". Right now, I'm trusting that my mustard seed of faith will be enough. I know that's all He asks according to the promise, but this current journey of faith seems overwhelming.
Let me start with some background. For several years now, a friend and former ministry partner, Mike Mann, has been traveling back and forth to Israel at least once a year. I've always thought it would be nice to go... but no urgent longing on my part to visit the Holy Land. Then last summer, just about ALL of my friends had the opportunity to go... all together. My longing intensified but for the wrong reasons. I knew it would be incredible to go with all my friends but it was only because, well, they were all my friends, and they were going on a trip to Israel together... without me. But I knew I couldn't and shouldn't go. God hadn't called me. But also, I had several other trips planned and vacation time where I work is sparse when compared to all the time I want to take. So I have to pick and choose.
So just about all my friends went. And I was able to see God do amazing things as they prepared for this trip. He provided the $$. He provided the strength. He provided the grace. Well, He provided everything. I was so excited to see how the trip turned out. Even woke up at 1:00 in the morning (8am Jerusalem time) to come into work and get on my computer to watch the Wailing Wall cam to see if I could catch a glimpse of all my friends who were in Israel without me. And I did... for all of 30 seconds. Then they came back and had amazing, stories of how God had jumped off the pages of the Word in a way they could never have imagined. I looked at picture after picture after picture of the trip. I watched a video of my friends getting baptized in the Jordan River by "our 
Worship Leaders", Carey, Mike and Jon. I listened to story after story after story of what God did during this trip. Each one unique and overwhelming by the person sharing it. One couple of friends even were so bold to tell me the next trip going, I would be on it. Yeah, right. They obviously haven't seen my checking account lately.
However, with each picture, each story, each time the trip was mentioned, something was changing in my heart. I soon realized that more than any other trips I've been on, I realized this was something I had to do. I couldn't really explain why. Of course, right about that time, unrest broke loose and I began to wonder if anybody would be able to visit Israel anytime soon. But the hot buttons began to cool down. I wouldn't call it peace necessarily. But the warring nations learned to co-exist again without lobbing bombs at each other. So I began to pray. This trip would require much sacrifice on my part. Financially, physically, mentally, practicality... on all levels. So I began to pray. And asked all those friends who thought I should be on the next plane to Israel to pray as well because the next trip is in the works. Carey and Amy are taking a group from their church. Short of all my friends going again, this seemed like the ideal scenario. You see, for the six years that we ministered together, Carey was very much one of the Spiritual leaders in my life. What better way to see the land of our Spiritual forefathers than with my sweet friends. So, I continued to look and listen for my answer.
Well, 6 months later, I still don't have a definite answer. All my friends say go. This is where the journey of faith comes to a crossroad. He hasn't said yes... but He hasn't said no either.
In the meantime, I have done my taxes. Now, being a single girl, and the way I have my taxes set up, I always get a refund. Depending on different variables, the amount is slightly different each year. But it's almost always just enough to pay my property taxes. Well, this year, for reasons I'm still trying to figure out, it was more than I thought it would be. Quite a bit more. I did them three times and it came out the same each time. "Well, how about that? Hmmm. Well, what's this in the mail today? It's the travel brochure from Carey on the Israel trip in November. How about that? Oh wait. When I get my refund back, I'll have enough to send my deposit for Israel to the travel agent. Hmmmmm. Okay, now look God. I really need to know what to do here. I know this looks like You providing. And I really want to believe here. Wow, I just wish you would speak audibly or write it in the sky or on the wall." :-)
This is where my journey of faith takes an interesting turn. The check is gone. My spot has been secured. God hasn't said no. So I'm assuming the answer is yes. There's still a way huge canyon to get through called a "balance" on my invoice for this trip. But I'm trusting. And I'm praying. I only want to go if He wants me to go right now because otherwise, I could never come up with that much $$ on my own... well, short of selling a kidney or something. So if this is going to happen, it will HAVE to be Him
providing.
So please pray... and stay tuned for updates on my current journey of faith. (The picture to the right is looking at the Eastern Gate from the Garden of Gethsemane.)
ere he has to step out into what seems like vast nothing only to find a bridge to the other side. Others seem pretty easy to "live by faith". Right now, I'm trusting that my mustard seed of faith will be enough. I know that's all He asks according to the promise, but this current journey of faith seems overwhelming.Let me start with some background. For several years now, a friend and former ministry partner, Mike Mann, has been traveling back and forth to Israel at least once a year. I've always thought it would be nice to go... but no urgent longing on my part to visit the Holy Land. Then last summer, just about ALL of my friends had the opportunity to go... all together. My longing intensified but for the wrong reasons. I knew it would be incredible to go with all my friends but it was only because, well, they were all my friends, and they were going on a trip to Israel together... without me. But I knew I couldn't and shouldn't go. God hadn't called me. But also, I had several other trips planned and vacation time where I work is sparse when compared to all the time I want to take. So I have to pick and choose.
So just about all my friends went. And I was able to see God do amazing things as they prepared for this trip. He provided the $$. He provided the strength. He provided the grace. Well, He provided everything. I was so excited to see how the trip turned out. Even woke up at 1:00 in the morning (8am Jerusalem time) to come into work and get on my computer to watch the Wailing Wall cam to see if I could catch a glimpse of all my friends who were in Israel without me. And I did... for all of 30 seconds. Then they came back and had amazing, stories of how God had jumped off the pages of the Word in a way they could never have imagined. I looked at picture after picture after picture of the trip. I watched a video of my friends getting baptized in the Jordan River by "our 
Worship Leaders", Carey, Mike and Jon. I listened to story after story after story of what God did during this trip. Each one unique and overwhelming by the person sharing it. One couple of friends even were so bold to tell me the next trip going, I would be on it. Yeah, right. They obviously haven't seen my checking account lately.However, with each picture, each story, each time the trip was mentioned, something was changing in my heart. I soon realized that more than any other trips I've been on, I realized this was something I had to do. I couldn't really explain why. Of course, right about that time, unrest broke loose and I began to wonder if anybody would be able to visit Israel anytime soon. But the hot buttons began to cool down. I wouldn't call it peace necessarily. But the warring nations learned to co-exist again without lobbing bombs at each other. So I began to pray. This trip would require much sacrifice on my part. Financially, physically, mentally, practicality... on all levels. So I began to pray. And asked all those friends who thought I should be on the next plane to Israel to pray as well because the next trip is in the works. Carey and Amy are taking a group from their church. Short of all my friends going again, this seemed like the ideal scenario. You see, for the six years that we ministered together, Carey was very much one of the Spiritual leaders in my life. What better way to see the land of our Spiritual forefathers than with my sweet friends. So, I continued to look and listen for my answer.
Well, 6 months later, I still don't have a definite answer. All my friends say go. This is where the journey of faith comes to a crossroad. He hasn't said yes... but He hasn't said no either.
In the meantime, I have done my taxes. Now, being a single girl, and the way I have my taxes set up, I always get a refund. Depending on different variables, the amount is slightly different each year. But it's almost always just enough to pay my property taxes. Well, this year, for reasons I'm still trying to figure out, it was more than I thought it would be. Quite a bit more. I did them three times and it came out the same each time. "Well, how about that? Hmmm. Well, what's this in the mail today? It's the travel brochure from Carey on the Israel trip in November. How about that? Oh wait. When I get my refund back, I'll have enough to send my deposit for Israel to the travel agent. Hmmmmm. Okay, now look God. I really need to know what to do here. I know this looks like You providing. And I really want to believe here. Wow, I just wish you would speak audibly or write it in the sky or on the wall." :-)
This is where my journey of faith takes an interesting turn. The check is gone. My spot has been secured. God hasn't said no. So I'm assuming the answer is yes. There's still a way huge canyon to get through called a "balance" on my invoice for this trip. But I'm trusting. And I'm praying. I only want to go if He wants me to go right now because otherwise, I could never come up with that much $$ on my own... well, short of selling a kidney or something. So if this is going to happen, it will HAVE to be Him
providing.So please pray... and stay tuned for updates on my current journey of faith. (The picture to the right is looking at the Eastern Gate from the Garden of Gethsemane.)
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