I am a Spoiled Girl

How does God do it? How does the Spirit take a relationship and enable it to "be as it's always been" regardless of time, miles, circumstances, etc? I'm reminded of this every time I head "south" to get my fill of love and hugs from the Dean family. This last lapse of time between visits is the longest I've had from my "family"... 8 months. And on top of that, there's a new little man running around that house who has no idea that "wawa" is something other than water.

It's just silly. The anxiousness I have as I drive to see my friends. I tend to allow the questions and anxiousness to overwhelm me. It, of course, doesn't help that I'm driving at midnight with about another 2 hours left to go when these thoughts start to invade my thoughts :-) But I start to wonder, "will it be the same"... "will the kids still remember the relationship that we have"... "have my friends moved on to other friends and just humoring an old friend who doesn't want to move on"... etc ... etc. Why do I allow the enemy to invade my thoughts like that? The answer is obviously because this is my insecurity and fear of not being liked anymore. I wish I could live in freedom from this.

But, then God steps in and lavishes His love on His girl through this sweet family that He has allowed to capture a special part of her heart. I wake up the next morning (having arrived WAY past everyone's bed time)... walk into the room where my family awaits me... and children run to me for hugs... and adult faces seem to light up that their Awa has arrived for another visit. Maybe all of this is just in my mind and not quite that dramatic. But I smile, thinking, "God, thank you for not allowing me to live in my insecurities but allowing me to experience Your love through relationship that goes beyond time and miles."

My visit is amazing and goes by entirely too quickly. Time to pack up and head north. It's always hard to get in the car and not get just one more hug and play just one more game and talk about just one more thing and just "be" with this family who have so lovingly called me Awa. But God gently reminds me He is yet still in control of our journeys... mine... and theirs. And He is sovereign as to why it has to be this way. Then within 30 mins of being on the road, I talk to my other "family" members... the friends that God has placed in my life in Nashville. One who even though is one the most unlikely of friends, makes me laugh like no one else can... and another family that God has allowed to capture my heart. And I again turn my trust to His hand to know what is best.

And just for the record, Corban now knows that "wawa" is something other than water. Not sure that 4 days is enough time to establish that connection of know thing that Awa is me, but at least the foundation is laid for relationship... and the word is in his vocabulary.