What's in a Name?

You know, I haven't really thought about what my little Kayla is going to call her aunt until I was home for Thanksgiving this past week. Kayla's mom and dad asked where the name Awa came from. Silly story really, but the name means more to me than I could ever explain.

You see, at the time it was given to me, the first sweet child that God had given to me was learning to talk. He heard his parents calling me Requelle. When he tried to say it and it came out Awa. Who knows. In his little mind, he was saying Requelle. Well, it stuck. They had another child and he called me Awa. Their extended family (whom I knew as well) all started calling me Awa, too. As we made mutal friends, and those friends had children, the name continued. I've even been told by said friends that they were pregnant by telling me I was going to be an Awa again. So far, God has given me 8 children who call me by that name... plus a few others who don't. But whenever I hear the name, I always think about the one who gave me that name. He's 17 now. Wow, I'm an old Awa :-) We've lost touch as seasons of life have changed but he'll always have a special place as he gave me the name.

Anyway, as Mom and I were working on Kayla's room at the grandparents house and discussing what the grandparents name would be, Mom asked me if I wanted Kayla to call me Awa. My first thought was, well, no. That was my name for friends. In my different worlds, I seem to have a different nicknames to each world. In my friend world, I'm Awa. In my work world, I'm Q. In my family world, I'm Quelle (except for my dad... he calls me R3... since I'm Requelle Rebecca Raley). Since Kayla is family... she should call me Aunt Quelle.

But then as I was telling a friend... the mother of two of my children... she had a great point. In some ways, I'm as close as any aunt in the lives of these children that God has given me. How cool would it be to actually have my neice call me Awa since the parents who have allowed me to be a part of their children's lives think Awa means aunt? The more I've thought about it... and I think about her alot these days since we're probably about 8 weeks away from her appearance in our lives... I've decided I want to be her Awa.

So my sweet little Kayla, your Awa can't wait to meet you.

New relationships

It's amazing to me how one "small" event can be used to change your life. One phone call and your world spins in a completely different direction than you thought it would when you woke up that morning. The phone call came. "You're going to be an aunt." That statement is something that I had resigned myself to probably never hearing... along with "You're pregnant." And I'm okay with it. God and I have had some talks and I'm really okay with it. Yes, it would be nice if it eventually happened but the chances at this point in my life are slipping away. I have so many other children in my life that I can say with confidence, I really am okay with it.

But then I get the phone call. I'm going to be an aunt. Then another call comes about 8 weeks later. "It's a girl." Now, of the children that God has given me, there's only one girl and she's is the princess of my life. I've never been a girlie girl, so I have watched her, taken notes and admired what it means to be a princess. It's not so much an attitude (although it can be but not in a good way) and it's not a title that you strut around with thinking you're better than others(although some do). I've watch this little princess grow in confidence of who she was created to be. And although she's only 8, this 37 year old stands in amazement of who God has created this little princess to be. (And by the way, when told this past weekend that she would need to share that title in her Awa's heart, she was completely okay. In true princess fashion, she simply replied, "It's ok, Awa. I was the first.")

I have begun to pray that this new little princess that is now in my life discovers the plans that God has for her with as much confidence as my first princess has. Kayla means "beloved". Little does Kayla know how beloved she is even now.

Two Years Journey

Two years ago, I began a journey of learning what is fleeting and what is eternal. My Savior chose to teach this lesson to me through my parents. I have come to understand that I have a very abnormal relationship when it comes to my parents. Well, compared to a lot of people I've met in my life. My parents are still married, love each other unconditionally, respect each other and although they probably wouldn't use this particular word, they adore my brother and I... and we have never doubted this love for a moment in our lives. So as adults, we are in each other's lives on a weekly, if not daily basis, regardless of the distance.

Two years ago, my Dad had an "episode" with his heart that the doctors have never figured out what it was exactly. But for about 24 hours as I sat at with friends 15 hours from his hospital room, I wondered if I would ever see my Dad on this earth again. God chose to heal him and he's not had a problem since.

Then cancer entered my world. My mom had breast cancer. I am so very thankful to my Savior that she is one of the blessed ones in that "it" was caught early, God used modern medicine to intervene and 15 months after her last chemo and radiation treatment, you can't even tell she went through it.

During Thanksgiving 2005, while I was home for the holidays, Mom had shaved her head because the hair had started falling out. Being the practical woman she is, she didn't want to deal with the clumps of hair on her pillow or in the shower drain. So she had my Dad shave her head. While at home, she asked me if I would shave mine. And if I lived near her, I would have in a heartbeat. Don't get the wrong idea, it would have been incredibly hard. But she's my Mom and I would have done it. But living 13 hours aways, people in Nashville would have thought me quite the freak if I just decided to shave my head. And Mom understood this. She was just curious. But I felt a very real need to do "something". I mean, hello. My Mom was going through cancer, I should do something to show her my support. It's the least I could do.

Then God gave me the idea. I could grow my hair and donate it to Locks of Love (www.locksoflove.org). Not bragging, but I have always had really good hair. Not good styles... pictures from high school and college can prove that! HA! But I have healthy hair and a TON of it.

So, 20 months later, here we are. It was weird going from hair halfway down my back to barely enough to grasp in my fingers. And I won't lie to you, I cried when it was cut off. But it's not because my hair is gone. It's because I became very overwhelmed at the fact at the end of this process (you gotta love that word!), I get to donate my hair to someone who will be going through the same thing my mom went through... cancer. But evenmoreso, I am very overwhelmed because I was able to call my Mom and tell her. The outcome of her journey could have been so very different... same with Dad. But God's mercy has allowed me the privilege of going through life with that relationship intact.

So in a world where parental relationships are usually non-existent, severly strained and/or barely cordial, I'm so thankful that God has allowed me the opportunity to see that although our life on this planet is fleeting, His mercy to remain on this planet is truly His gift. I've always thought that Heaven is our eternal gift. Now I see how being here in this "earth suit" is a gift as well because He gives us relationships.